The Reality Is…

| February 14, 2014


writing-from-heartWrite from your heart; share your life, your stories, and your thoughts.

As Valentine’s Day is upon us, I would love to share how I met the amazing man in my life.

We met this past summer.

Ironically, owning and operating a community-online newspaper, Erick and I met online. Laugh if you wish. It was the best start-up fee investment ever made.

He was just about to get off the dating sight, I just started. We messaged each other, 37 times from me, and 35 from him, for about two weeks. Ironically, the numbers happened to be our ages at the time.

At first, I thought I would sign up, mostly to venture beyond the Fox Creek boundaries.

The dating site was You can enter what you want in a relationship and equally as important, what you do not want. You add photos, details of your life, you can even add the height of your match, and eye color and the distance you are willing to travel to meet someone new.

Who knew you could do that? It really makes me wonder how my grandparents met each other – the days before Facebook, online dating, even computers, cell phones and the high statistics of divorce.

I was determined, after being hurt more then once, that there had to be a man out there for me. He had to find me. I joked, I was tired of toads in tinfoil and yes, a prince was out there somewhere.

He had to be funny, adventurous, strong, a good cook would be ideal, and a career which balances with mine and he needed to be able to tolerate long walks and talks, social outings, going three different directions with the kids activities, hold hands as we grow old together and the chemistry between us needed to be zing. Yes, I was aware; the single status of my life could have been everlasting, as my ideal list was daunting and yes, perhaps not realistic.

My mom would say, “Keep dreaming Brandi,” the nay-sayers would say, “You will be single forever,” the haters didn’t even care one twiddle winks, and well, my dear friends were inspirational and patient.

After messaging for two weeks, we decided to exchange numbers and texting each other became more convenient. Then a phone call the night before we met, lasted for over 4 hours.

I had been delaying meeting him, it was the last week of school and I was beyond busy, totally pre-occupied with wrapping up work before kids were out for summer, helping to plan Canada Day festivities and getting ready for my daughter’s first school dance.

We agreed to meet at the Gunn gas station (he was from Barrhead), and then drive into the city for supper and shopping. Because of course, I had opened my mouth to make a Costco trip for the concession for Canada Day and we didn’t have time to order chips, plus we needed red and white decorations.

The reality is I didn’t even have a Costco card.

He knew my love for pepsi and skittles and when I anxiously pulled up to meet him, where was he? He was in the store; he walked out with a pepsi and skittles in hand.

Upon first meeting, he took my breath away.

No it wasn’t just the sweet, thoughtful treats.

His eyes, his smile…

Erick and I

Erick and I

He instantly made me feel comfortable and like I had known him all my life. I listened to my body and it wasn’t doing anything – well besides, the heart beating a little faster, there was no butterflies, no turning of the guts and no deep down pit in the bottom of my stomach. These were all really good signs and lessons I never listened to before in my past.

Immediately it all felt right.

The fear of meeting him quickly disappeared, the fear of being hurt again dropped down, the fear of it not working it out vanished….there was a spark, a strong connection and  fireworks!

…Fireworks at the lake, on Canada Day, K-days and Niagara Falls on Friday evening.

…Flowers just because, breakfast in bed, mutual, respectful and healthy love.

I wondered why we didn’t meet earlier, yet realize I needed to go through every step along my journey to get me where I am today. And so did he.

I cherish the past, hold close the memories and strong life lessons and optimistically look forward to the future.

love storyLove has no age limit, love is passionate, love is strong, love is patient and love is funny. The reality is…love is sweet.

My top 10 relationship advice, the reality is… most were passed on by supportive friends and family, and some learned the hard way along the journey:

  1. Listen to your gut; your heart can be hurt, your head fooled, learn to trust and listen to your gut.
  2. Don’t let fear control you, control your fears.
  3. What is meant to be, will always find a way.
  4. Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
  5. Keep Dreaming.
  6. Believe.
  7. Simpler is better, less is more.
  8. Never get tired of doing the little things, leave notes for each other, surprise each other every once in awhile and go for dates on a regular basis.
  9. The secret is, there are no secrets. Communication is the key.
  10.  Don’t let the past, make your future bitter, internal happiness and loving yourself comes first, the rest will fall into place, when the universe knows your clear message.

Do you want to share your story on how you met your significant other?

Please email and include a photo if you wish.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” -Dr. Suess

 polish english translation google

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Category: Brandi, Brandi's Backyard, Columns

About the Author (Author Profile)

Brandi loves meeting people and sharing their stories. A country girl at heart, she appreciates the simple things in a complex world.

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